RDW's poems

2- Her Landlord

These days, you can’t sleep anywhere for free
She in her enchanted thicket sleeps
but bills don’t sleep –  there’s no enchantment there

Except it was the bills that could get though
the thicket and the semi-consciousness
Eviction threats are better than anyone’s kiss
if motivation’s what your looking for

The landlord doesn’t visit – well, would you?
We’re speaking of enchanted forests here
the not-so-pleasant kind,
where many noble chevaliers go in
and are not seen again

So what can you expect of a Land Lord?
No noble knight.  He just sends in his bills
He’s happy not to have to even try
his hand at redecoration or repairs

So the roof leaks, and brings the plaster down
from two of the bathroom walls
first taking the ceiling down to ease the way

So the cooker’s been there 18 years
and wasn’t new back then
and the heating rings have faded, one by one
their magic lost

So the rug is  a gritty, pounded felt
So?  It lies beneath the thicket, out of sight
So the taps don’t close
So the fridge (same age as stove) has shrivelled up

Its gasket gone the way of all soft things
So what?  The thicket keeps it mostly shut
And why should sleeping beauties need cold milk?
And Briar Rose is used to UHT

The landlord speaks:

The main thing is – she always pays the rent
She’s not out on the street – that’s good for her
She doesn’t cost me much – that’s good for me

As landlords go I’m pretty tolerant
I know there must be something funny there
But I don’t interfere – that’s nice of me
And I don’t even ask her for her thanks

I also don’t ask if her life’s a mess,
My Golden Rule is –  never interfere!
For me, she really saves on overheads,
Stays in a lot, she helps keep the place safe

And never never never phones me up

So I don’t want some stranger on a horse
to come and wake her up, take her away
I want her here.  And you know what I wish?
I really wish that there were more like her


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